Nobody Loves You When You're Down And Out



Now if you have been paying attention, you may know I’m now unemployed.  I’m not impressed with Unite the Union, so I tried to join the GMB.  As their website boasts:

“GMB is the UK's third largest, trade union and probably the fastest growing with a 15% increase in members in real terms in the last five years.  As a general union, GMB membership is open to all workers and students in both the public and private sectors.  Sick and unemployed members = 5p per week.”

That sounds good to me.  As a voluntary worker, I'm technically unemployed.  I tried to use the website to join, and put ‘unemployed’ in the box marked "Your Job".  It insisted I name an employer in the box marked "Your Employer" so I put the place where I do voluntary work.  It calculated my union dues as £6.29 per month.  So I tried ringing the GMB.  The conversation went something like this:

When I explained what had happened, the nice lady said "So you're unemployed?"  I said “yes, but I do voluntary work.  I'm hoping to start a job soon though.”  She said "Hmmm, would you not rather wait till you start work and then join?"  "No" I said "I would rather join now, and upgrade when I start work."

“Hmmm" she said, “We can't really let you join for 22p a month.”  I said “But your website says that unemployed people pay 5p a week to be a member." 

 "Yes” she said “But you have to be a member for a year, before you can be an unemployed member." 

I said “That’s not very fair, so as an unemployed person I'm worthless to you?”  She said “I don't make the rules.”  I asked “Who does? David Cameron?  I know the Tories think I'm worthless because I’m unemployed, but I'm surprised the GMB think that too.”

She said “We don't think you’re worthless."  I said "But you don't want me for a member.  Because I'm unemployed I have no value to you.  There are no vacancies for me in the GMB.  Shall I go on my blog tonight and tell everyone that the GMB think I’m worthless because I’m unemployed.”

She said she would speak to her manager, and he would call me back.  He didn’t.  So I am obviously worthless.

Now I was in the NUM for 15 years.  When the pits were closed I retrained as a teacher and joined the NASUWT until my employer broke my contract and the NASUWT was advising him as well as me, and eventually showed me less support than a pound-shop truss.  

When I moved to advice work and employability support I joined Unite.  Unite won't back me in my action against my last employer who unfairly dismissed me.  So I tried to join GMB.  They think I'm of no value. 

After contributing union fees for about 25 years I have needed support twice when unfairly dismissed and both times the union were no use whatsoever. I spent the last five years telling people they should join a union. 

What an idiot I was.  I should tell them "Don't join a union, they are a waste of money, and create an illusion of support that evaporates when the bosses look at them."  No wonder the Tories can do whatever they want.